


Freshly Cooked Bacon and Frog Legs

by anassdisaster



Category: The Muppets - All Media Types
Genre: Death, Denise is a slut, F/M, Kermit the frog needs to stop, Miss piggy is badass, Murder, Other, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 04:13:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8148763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anassdisaster/pseuds/anassdisaster
Summary: Kermit is cheating on Miss Piggy with Denise. How will Miss Piggy take it?





	

**Author's Note:**

> My literary excellence.

Miss Piggy stood at the aisle waiting for her dear amphibian soon to be husband, yet he is nowhere to be found. Miss Piggy growled “ That bastard left me to go fuck his pork bitch” She stomped out of the church leaving everyone completely surprised at her sudden outburst.   
~FASTFORWARD~

Miss Piggy barged into their shared apartment before storming to the bedroom where she saw what she expected. The frog and the pig going at it. Denise was going to pay. “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU PIG SLUT!” Miss Piggy screamed at Denise. Denise ran out leaving a naked Kermit and Miss Piggy alone. Kermit struggled to get his clothes on. “Today was our wedding. OUR WEDDING KERMIT. AND YOU ARE HERE FUCKING DANIELLE OR DEREK OR WHATEVER” Kermit rushed to calm his swine fiancé. Miss Piggy slapped him. “HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TOUCH ME!” Kermit’s eyes widened as he saw the hog get into their semi truck. “W-What are you doing?!” Miss Piggy smirked at him “Murdering your bitch” She drove off leaving Kermit in the dust. 

 

Denise walked along the road, in her skimpy dress hoping someone would pick her up and give her a ride home, or maybe more. She blushed at her dirty pig thoughts before turning as she heard the loud rev of an engine. She turned only to be confronted by the bright lights of a semi truck. Through those lights she saw the woman she dreaded the most. “HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO TASTE MY RUBBER?!” Miss Piggy screamed out before ramming her heel onto the gas and running over the other pig. “HAHAHAHAHAHAH!” she laughed maniacally. “LOOKS LIKE WE ARE HAVING PORK CHOPS TONIGHT!”

 

Kermit paced the room waiting for Miss Piggy to return. Right when he was about to call her cellphone, she burst through the door, still clad in her wedding dress. “Miss Piggy! Where were you?!” Miss Piggy grimaced at him, “It was hard to find a place to hide her but I found somewhere that could hold her fat ass.” Kermit’s eyes widened when she said that. “Y-You didn’t…. Y-YOU DID! HOW COULD YOU?!” Kermit screamed in her face. Miss Piggy stepped back. “She took my man, so, I took her life! And now, I’m gonna take yours!” Miss Piggy jumped on him, removing a knife from her pocket. Kermit screamed in agony as the knife penetrated his body. Blood spurted all over the snowy white dress Miss Piggy wore, but she didn’t care. After 10 more blows she stood up. Miss Piggy felt the blood from her amphibian boyfriend drip down her hands. “He had it comin’” she whispered to herself. She walked out, like a true femme fatale and she knew, no one would mess with her from now on.


End file.
